Summer is coming. There are retreats I need to prep for, kids summer activities litter the calendar and then there are all of the traditions to maintain. It comes and goes. Ready or not. It is fall, the tags are burning holes in my pocket but there is school for the kids and work at the barn. The weeks drag on and I need to get out hunting so the freezer will be full. Time marches on. Winter is here. There are so many holidays, birthdays and events to plan, attend and fit in. It comes and goes and time marches on. It’s spring now. I reflect back on the year and it feels like its been three. Where does the time go?

I’ve been rushing all year to fit everything in but in the hustle it is so easy to just check each thing off the list without really being fully present in it and experiencing it. While I am in the process of checking it off I am already planning out how to accomplish the next thing on the list. That is not how I want to live. It is my own fault. I have so many things I love to do and frankly I try to do too many. There are only 24 hours in the day. My body wants me to sleep for 8 of those but I rarely do because I need to fit in feeding my family, trying to catch up with my housework, homeschooling my daughters, working at the barn, fulfilling my writing projects for the magazine, coaching clients, preparing for retreats, connecting with my husband, being the taxi driver for my kids, getting groceries, maintaining my business, working out, getting outside to hunt and hike etc. etc. etc. all in the remaining 16 hours and they honestly never feel like enough. How do I fix this? What can I drop to make more room for the things I care about most? This is something I wrestle with a lot lately. I like everything I do but with so many things on my plate I don’t feel like I can do any of them to the level of quality I want. Something has to give.

The crazy part about this whole thing is that there is still so much more I want to do. It is laughable but I want to continue my podcast. I want to write a book, finish creating my Wilderness Mindset and Survival Course, write for more publications, spend regular time with each kiddo, spend more time with my husband. Really?! What is wrong with me!? I have aspirations but in reality I would be better off spending my time creating a machine that adds more hours to my day. I know I am not alone. There are so many people that have incredibly full plates and not enough hours in the day to do everything they want and need to do. I also know that I am blessed. I know that this is a season in my life and that one day my kids will be grown and my calendar will clear out a lot. I know that when that day comes, I will miss this. I will miss them.

So how do we do it? How do we be fully present in each moment with so many things happening at once? I don’t have the answer. My approach lately has been to try to only do one thing at a time and let everything else go in that moment. I have not perfected it by any means. I am also regularly evaluating the way I am choosing to spend my time and viewing it as optional. I can change it if something doesn’t serve my goals anymore. It is ok for something to be the right fit for a time and it is ok to let something go when it is no longer the right fit. I feel a shift in the wind in the way I spend my time and I am open to watching for where it is trying to move me. I am assessing the doors that open for me and not stressing the doors that are closing. I have learned over the years that not only is change inevitable but change is good. I can’t grow in a stagnant environment so in order to move forward things must change. If you are 100% happy with everything in your life and there is literally nothing you want to be different then change would be negative. I think that is a rare place to exist. Nothing changes if nothing changes so if you desire for things to be different in some area of your life then something has to change for that to take place.

This post has no real value to offer. It is simply my reflections and the acknowledgement that I want some things to be different. I know that means change so I am open to it. What it will be I am not sure but I am alert and watching for that to be clear to me. I know when I am open to direction and actively seeking it I generally find it. Until then I will immerse myself in the moment as much as possible. Time marches on whether I am aware of it or not. I will choose to be more aware of it and treat each moment with the respect it deserves for it is truly the only time I will ever get that moment. There will be more moments to come but that one…that one will be lost to time and it would be a shame for me to be so distracted that I didn’t even see it pass by.